Well, I don’t know about you, but never have I ever seen such an abrupt and yet in some ways subtle move towards a form of coping so arduously, that the coping became our new sense of being, and how we live our every day. Looking back a year ago when Covid-19 was this “new thing” that we never thought we’d ever come to know, that the word “pandemic” felt so weird on our lips as we said it, much less lived it. I remember how my husband and I were trying so painstakingly to divert the attention of our children away from their electronic devices, abhorred by the fact that it was practically the only thing they had that entertained them enough and ironically, educated them at the same time. We tried everything from prohibiting the use of it as a form of discipline, and yet rewarding them with the very same thing. Colouring pictures didn’t cut it, as much as I LOVE the art of architecture and building creative projects, even Lego only lasted so long before they used building as a form of checking something “good” off the list to get closer to the electronic device. With guilt and confusion, we gave in to the inevitable, silently cursing technology, and yet at the same time, thanking the Lord above that we had the ability to connect to our loved ones in the only forms possible which included copious Zoom calls or FaceTime or some other form of video connection. I remember how excited I was to see the early signs of Spring in 2020, happy that the warm weather would bring outside playtime and more physical body connection for my kids. “Go outside and play, you two! Look! The sun is shining!”, I happily sang as I went into the dirt to turn up my garden. Appeasing Mom, they went outside. Doing the right thing, they played in the front yard with the new “Covid puppy”. But to no avail did this notion last very long when they eventually turned to me and said, “Um… Mom? We walked the dog, and we played soccer in the front yard, but, there’s no one else to play with. I tried to play one-on-one with Jackson on the street when I saw him shooting hoops, but he said his Mom didn’t want anyone to play with him in the front yard. Soooooo, he went into his house and asked me to jump on the iPad to play online with him, so can I mom? Please? I walked the dog like you said.” Trumped again by the device, and the need for my children to have some kind of social connection to the outside world, I moaned and groaned and added in time limits, and parental controls to make me feel as though I had some kind of control over this electronic machine that was ruling my roost.
Like most parents, I was so happy when school started up again, but only knocked flat out once more when the inevitable took place, and we ended up turning our kitchen, and my husband’s office into a homeschool haven during another lockdown after Christmas. Once again, we turned to laptops, and screens, this time to conquer online education. Sometimes this became welcomed as it allowed a quick snack from the kitchen or a drink to take a break, yet sometimes I felt like a short-order chef for my tween while helping my 7-year-old with reading comprehension or breaking down the learning of the water cycle. And other times, I found myself overhearing comments from the teacher online reminding kids to “please keep their videos on,” and I would sneak a peek into the office to make sure that my son wasn’t one of those kids who’d rather be heard and not seen… to be honest, though… I can’t blame them either. There were many days that I wanted to just “tune out and turn off.” As for my daughter, however, sitting in front of the screen all day wasn’t going to work for her, so there I was following her around the house with the laptop in hand trying to find different ways to entice her, hoping that a quick and funny YouTube clip might do the trick to bring her back. She would usually laugh, and then hide her head back under her covers and say “is school over yet?” I would sigh and say “well… no… but we’re almost there.” She would ask if she finished all her schoolwork whether she would get to play on the iPad and I felt every part of me cringe as I tried to use a different form of reward, but there it was. Once again. Trumped by the device.
Now, we have finally moved back into the classroom, asking our kids to adjust one more time. In the very first week, I had teachers telling me that all the kids were squirrelly, that my son was having difficulty with the transition, and that he wasn’t quite getting along with one of his peers. He would come home after I picked him up from school, deflated, and asking “can I just do school online again?”
“But you told me you hated that?” I questioned. “Yeah I did, but at least I wasn’t getting in trouble.” There was nothing I could do at that point but hope to God that this child had enough patience to move through this very difficult time and urged him that things would get better as he settled into the new rules, the new forms, and the new everything. As for my daughter well, her ADHD challenges got the better of her and it was too difficult for her to sustain a full day. We had to be very creative in how we re-introduced school in the classroom. “I love seeing my friends Mommy, I just don’t want to do the work,” she would say to me upon return. Productivity, we learned, was actually more effective when she was home and ironically, in front of the laptop that I would put in her face, encouraging her to finish just one more assigned task before another snack break. It seemed that in this turn of events, the very thing that I was opposed to and constantly grappling with, was the only thing I could turn to to help educate my seven year old.
So now what happens as we wait for the vaccines to roll out? Do we continue to tell our kids that sharing is not permitted after teaching them for so long that being neighbourly and sharing toys is the right thing to do? Let’s not be so hard on ourselves, and most importantly, on our children. They have had to navigate education, self-amusement, and social disconnect and re-connect multiple times throughout the course of a year that goes far beyond what was ever asked of us at their age. Knocking on someone’s door and asking to play basketball or hide-and-seek seemed so normal to us and them, until we were all so quickly forced into a new direction. I've learned to be exceptionally grateful for the big things in life like the health of myself and my family, as well as the little things like the welcoming of our "Covid puppy" that has given us a new purpose to love. I’ve learned to tolerate iPad requests, I’ve learned to accept a new form of human connection. But sufficed to say, my whole body aches for the time where we can all hug each other again... not virtually.
416 629 5644
info@twosistersdanceprojects.com
26 Thirty Fifth Street Toronto,
Ontario, Canada M8W 3E9
Website built and powered by:
Optix Digital Solutions