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A Ballet Mom's Worst Nightmare

Christine Brkich • September 29, 2020

First Day of Ballet Class... for Mom

Are there any other parents out there who are struggling with trying to bring routine back into their children’s lives? Isolation has completely thrown a wrench into the motivation of my kids and now, like many other parents I struggle to get my daughter to go to ballet class.


As a dance educator, dance enthusiast, choreographer, and all-things-dance person, it PAINS me as a Mom to hear that my daughter doesn’t want to attend her first day of ballet class. She’s a child who was born half fairy/half monkey as she twists, turns, flips and jumps all over my furniture all day long. So I thought “Great! Cirque de Soleil, you have a frontrunner in your midst!” So… how do I get her there? Naturally, like every dance teacher/choreographer/performer/dance enthusiast parent in the universe I would say “Ballet first as always, then add your other ingredients later.” It's a mantra that I've preached to so many other dance parents before, and so fast-forward to me trying to live by own rules.  So this year, she was completely excited to try Acro for the first time alongside her Ballet class.


Motivational Crisis

However, when excitedly waking her up in the morning to say “Guess what? After school today, you get to go to ballet!” My seven year old moaned with her morning hair a mess, and flopped over on the other side of the bed to mumble “Hmph…. I don’t wanna go to Ballet.” Not gonna lie… my heart shattered into a 1000 pieces. “WHAT????” My inside Ballet Mistress Voice was saying to me, “NOT want to go to BALLET?? How is that even possible??!” When I explained to my daughter that I will only allow for her to take Acro class if she has a Ballet class in the week too to prevent injury and gain strength, her answer became, “well then… I don’t wanna do either. I just wanna stay home and play, Mom.” 


WOW. THANK YOU COVID-19…. I silently cursed. Six months in isolation and homeschool, and now only 2 weeks back at school, and I’ve lost her and her entire routine. This is a child who loves nature, who employs her free-loving spirit on a daily basis, missed her school friends dearly during the isolation period, but who can also be severely shattered to tears at the thought of losing her favourite straw or shoelace…. The very objects others would deem insignificant. So then… why would she want to lose her dance class(es)? At what point as a parent do we become sticklers and tell them to at least try to stick to the commitment they’ve set out to do? And when do we pull the plug and say it’s enough… they need a break. A break??? She hasn’t done anything yet! To the BARRE with you, young lady! Wait… stop….


This isn’t about me… ok, well it kinda is and I need to get over that…. I can’t impose my passions onto my child… right? Can I? No. Ok… so what IS it about? Is it about the structure of a Ballet class? Maybe... how do we lose them so easily as dance teachers? Is it a lesson in motivation and what's changed in this "new world" of pandemic crisis? Perhaps... time to break this down... ugh! Into the Ballet Rabbit Hole we go....




The Ballet Rabbit Hole

So here it is.... as Ballet teachers we find ourselves constantly struggling with the structure of the class. How much creative movement do we insert before we really need to get into proper pliés and tendues? Somehow someone somewhere instilled that creative movement is a great tool for 3 - 5 year old students, but from the ages of 6 and up we have to insert structure and vocabulary and allow for that to become the primary focus of the class if we ever wanna wear the tutu. Since the dawn of ballet time (circa 1400) the ballet class has been structured from the moment we step to the barre and start our pliés, which leads into tendues, which leads in to jetés, which leads into rond de jambe... and so on. This was done in an extreme systematic order for which to warm up the body progressively. To further that system, it's ALL DONE AGAIN in consecutive order in the CENTRE of the room which eventually leads to the harder stuff as we progress as dancers. Until finally, we find ourselves going "Down the Room" for further enchainments and dance variations that challenge us and move us through the space to where we've connected all the steps as well as with our own inner "Giselle" and we feel as though we're finally DANCING! Great! I'm DANCING! But wait... class is over?? Why are we doing our curtsies already? 


Out of the Ballet Box

So what happened to the in-between stages? What happened to improvising in ballet class, dare I say it? YES! I said it... As ballet teachers (myself included) we can become so encumbered by the structure and the necessities of the class that we forget the importance of exploring what life is like on stage as a nymph or a fairy. And yet, ironically, some of these concepts are the very characters that ballet was built on. So am I saying to do away with technique? ABSOLUTELY NOT! Says my Ballet Mistress Voice again in a resounding "NO!" with her arms folded across her chest. But I am saying that it's ok to break up the structure just a little bit so that we can remember to "insert fairy/nymph-like improv here" within the class. We are teaching different children these days than the children we once were, and the children before us who were our teachers. Kids are wired differently and challenged with screen-times and attention deficits all over the place. We complain that technology and iPad time is sucking the imagination out of them, so why then are we expecting them to love ballet class when we begin by standing at the barre for half of the class forgetting about our fairy wings? 


Which brings me to the inevitable... BALLET GUILT.


I know it. I have it too. And I'm speaking from personal control-freak experience to say that it's ok. Some days, when I look over at the clock and we're still at the barre breaking down a rond de jambe en dehors, I have to say enough is enough. We're not getting to grand battement today... and we'll be ok... the world won't end because we haven't "high kicked" today. And even though the Ballet Mistress Voice inside of me secretly looks out the studio windows to check if the Ballet Police are coming, I've learned to quiet her too in these moments. When I look back at the tired and red cheeked faces of the students who have so desperately tried to draw the half moon of the rond de jambe and hold their hips in this place we call oh-so-unnatural turn-out with dread.... I sympathize... I'd rather you love the world of ballet like I did... and still do... and more importantly come back again next week????  So instead, let's go in the CENTRE and play in the ballet sandbox for awhile.


And to the Ballet Mom's out there...as for my daughter's ballet class attendance? Well she managed a plié and then jumped on the trampoline for the remainder of the ba… well that’s a blog for another day...




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This work is a continuation of a dance video series inspired by Alisa Walton throughout this time of quarantine. The concept of five choreographers and dancers rehearsing with each other in their living rooms via Zoom and FaceTime, (Emily Bernasiewicz, Christine Brkich, Lisa Brkich, Alisa Walton, Claire Ward) while moving towards a final dance video performance entitled, "The Tides." I, (Christine Brkich), initially did not approach this work with a narrative in mind. That was a new process for me as a choreographer and director. In my mind's eye I saw the aesthetic first.  Location, Location, Location The two locations I chose on the water were very important for me to create in, especially during this pandemic. Living close to the water, it has become a quiet and peaceful solace during this time of quarantine. More and more people are coming to the water, than I have ever seen in summers past, needing to be with people in small groups, in need of the sunshine, and listening to the lapping of the water against the shoreline. It seemed fitting to explore the work within this type of environment as it resonated with so many during a hot summer of partial isolation. We needed to be particularly mindful as it was that this was a common area for morning joggers, walkers, and cyclists to meet their endpoint at the pier, social distancing ourselves from everyone was at the forefront and by noon the sun would be blazing and the dancers completely dehydrated. We were extremely efficient and finished by 9am. Our second location proved to be a different experience. There weren't as many people as it was an overcast, and rainy morning and the contrast of weather was a blessing to our bodies and to the making of the video. 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Thus, the lyrics tell the story, and the choreography depicts the narrative through the lyrics in places. It was interesting, that although we had each choreographed our phrases privately within the walls of our own living rooms and bedrooms, many times we found similar movement vocabulary would arise amongst the choreographers as their lyrics cross phrased and repeated themselves in sections. There was a definite connectedness that bound us together, even through virtual creation. Putting It Altogether In The Moment The duets, and trios that took place all happened on site as we had no ability to rehearse together prior to the shoot days. This adventure became a beautiful serendipitous happenstance. My favourite moments happened in watching Alisa dance behind Claire, holding the space for her as I watched it behind the lens, the wonderful duet of choreographer and dancer (Lisa and Alisa) as they cannoned their phrase so beautifully together - and the magic that unfolded in post when I edited the duet and Lisa's quiet dissolve into absence made for a beautiful stillness as Alisa was left in solo. The duet of mother and daughter (Lisa and Emily) that started as two separate solos, took on new meaning as the two danced side by side, subtly in quiet communication with each other...and of course the group moments of improv came together magically as we felt our ways through the moment. We were even blessed by Mother Nature as she enchanted us with her paint brush... painting the skies with a bright blue crimson and yellow sun on Day 1, followed by a quiet grey and sombre sky with rain that fell at the exact precise moment during the duet between Mom and Daughter. It was as though she knew we were creating in the moment, and blessed us with a gaggle of Canadian geese that flew by in their own choreographic dance space as we watched in awe. These moments as they were happening were all mysterious and wonderfully powerful, and continued to be so as I edited the footage later to find more moments to be thankful for that I could have only caught when I was out of the frame, and watching it as a viewer rather than a participant. Find An Ending The ending was a mystery as they often can be. As I still wasn't sure how to end the piece, I decided we should all frolic in the rocks together. We began by skipping rocks into the water on the shoreline and then moved to passing rocks to one another, and feeling the textures of them as we passed, shot from a birds-eye angle. I called cut as we finished playing in the rocks and hoped that we had something that seemed like an ending, until Lisa said "Wait! I think that was it! 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